Healing the violated soul

we are complex beings - easily broken

Side notes
All Bible references are from the English Standard Version unless otherwise noted.

[1] Genesis 1:26-27
Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."

[2] 1 Thessalonians 5:23
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

[3] Deuteronomy 30:19
“I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live..”

[4] Luke 22:42
..saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done."

[5] 1 Peter 4:1-3
Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.

[6] Genesis 11:6
And the LORD said, "Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.”

[7] Psalm 64:6
They search out injustice, saying, "We have accomplished a diligent search." For the inward mind and heart of a man are deep!

[8] 1 Corinthians 2:16
"For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?"

[9] Mark 12:28-31
And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, "Which commandment is the most important of all?" Jesus answered, "The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

[10] 2 Corinthians 10:4
For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.

[11] Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

[12] Matthew 7:7
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

[13] John 8:32
“..and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

[14] Romans 9:25
As indeed he says in Hosea, "Those who were not my people I will call 'my people,' and her who was not beloved I will call 'beloved.'"

[15] Psalm 131:2
But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.

[16] Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

[17] James 1:8
..he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

[18] James 4:8
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

[19] Joshua 24:14-15
"Now therefore fear the LORD and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Humans are amazing creations. We are intricately designed and formed by a master creator – God. Genesis 1:26-27[1]

The multitude of combinations available in our makeup ensures that we are absolutely unique in this world. There are no other humans on earth that are an exact replica of us. We may touch others in some areas, but none touch in all areas. The vast range of skill levels, gifting, character traits, physical features and beliefs ensure our uniqueness and individuality. Despite such diversity, however, there are basics to our makeup that are the same.

The Bible teaches that we are each a three-part being, made up of spirit, soul and body. 1 Thessalonians 5:23[2]

The soul is primarily comprised of three parts – will, mind and emotions (Some add features such as the conscience, reasoning power etc.). Each part has separate functions and responsibilities, but each is locked together in such a way that any effect on one part has effect on all three parts.

Perhaps the simplest way to describe the soul is to use the illustration of a computer. There are three parts to the computer – keyboard, memory chip and monitor screen. These can be used to demonstrate the soul: –

The Will = computer keyboard

The keyboard gives purpose and direction to the computer. Without it, there is no way of accessing the computer in any sensible way. It is through the keyboard that all information is placed into the memory chip. To that end, then, it is in charge. Nothing comes in or goes out of the computer unless the keyboard first gives permission. The interesting thing is that, though complex, it operates by a simple on/off switch type of system.

The will is designed by God to govern the soul. Deuteronomy 30:19[3], Luke 22:42[4], 1 Peter 4:1-3[5]

It is basically a very simple decision-maker. We choose yes or no to every option put before us. We can choose to do things and make decisions whether we like it or not. It doesn’t matter how much we feel like staying in bed on a cold wintry morning, we choose to swing our legs over the side of the bed and get up. Likewise, we choose to be stubborn or gentle, patient or harsh. We choose our careers, partners, vehicles and a host of other things. We can choose to accept or reject advice.

The will is not designed by God to operate as an independent part of the soul. It is designed to rule over the mind and emotions, but to make decisions only after consultation so as to achieve the best choices.

The Mind = computer memory

The memory chip area is the workhorse of the computer. It stores in itself all data; it analyses the data and places each piece of information in its right place. When asked to, it searches out information and brings it to the surface. It has huge capacity, is fast and accurate.

From the book ‘Think Big’ by Ben Carson, MD and world renowned surgeon, we read – The mind is designed by God to contain all data pertaining to life. Genesis 11:6[6], Psalm 64:6[7], 1 Corinthians 2:16[8]. It holds every experience that has ever crossed our pathway. It has amazing capacity and ability. It is said that each brain has some fourteen billion cells, and has the capacity to contain all the knowledge of humanity from the beginning of the world to the present and still have room left over!

The mind is supposed to feed wisdom to the will, enabling good decisions to be made, but, like the memory chip, it has a major flaw or weakness, in that it can only bring forward what is already contained within it. So if its knowledge is incomplete or damaged in some way, it is rendered unable to produce complete reports, and so the will receives faulty wisdom.

The Emotions = computer monitor

The computer screen has no thinking ability of its own and it cannot make any sort of decisions. It is purely a response mechanism. It displays what it is told to, nothing more, and nothing less. Yet without it we would have no way of bridging the gap between all that is inside the computer, and those of us watching from the outside.

And so too our emotions. They are not designed to have thinking skills, neither are they designed to govern in any shape or form. They are to be response mechanisms that enable what is inside to be recognised by those outside. Can you imagine the chaos if a computer monitor suddenly decided it wanted to be boss? It simply couldn’t succeed because it has no capacity to think or make any sort of decisions, let alone wise ones! In exactly the same way, our emotions are just as unable to think or rule. Isn’t it amazing, then, how many of us try to live according to how we feel? No wonder we end up in trouble!

Violation of the soul

God has a lovely plan for each of us. His desire is that we have a mother and father who love us, nurture us, bring us security, and who are alongside to teach us how to handle the traumas that life brings our way. Also, preferably, that they lead us to faith in Christ, that we might know the further security of his forgiveness for sin.

God’s intention was that from conception to the maturity of secure adulthood, we should be mothered and fathered by parents who are male and female. God wants our parents to be secure people, who have the ability to love and nurture us, initially in dependency on them as mother and father, but eventually transferring dependency to God as his child.

Violation occurs to the soul whenever something happens to it that is sin, causing broken-heartedness, captivity (to wounding, sin, fear etc.), mourning, suffering, sorrow, weakness and turmoil. You can read Isaiah 53 & 61 in the Bible reading section.

From the moment of our conception, we are affected by many different influences: our personalities dictating how we interpret things, the physical world around us, our own physical bodies and our hereditary makeup. All these influences affect our souls, teaching us patterns and beliefs that either reinforce who God created us to be and His love for us, or twisting Gods’ truths about us, causing violation within our souls.

Everyone experiences painful or hard times along life’s road. Healthy people learn from these things. Healing, though, is needed when the normal development and maturity process has lacked the love and nurturing needed to enable the person to handle the normal knocks and pains of life. Just as a person can be crippled physically because of some physical trauma, so a person can be crippled emotionally because of serious emotional trauma. Our emotional lives need to be brought into line with our spiritual lives, and often this has to happen through healing. If the risen and ascended Son of God really enters into a situation, that situation cannot stay the same. The Holy Spirit will heal those areas suppressed because of pain or even denial, when brought up to the light.

When a person always reacts wrongly in a given situation, it is a sign of a wounding that needs healing.

When a person responds rightly in a given situation, it is a sign of wholeness.

It is a known statistic that 80% of a child’s personality characteristics are formed in the first six to eight years of life, and that those same characteristics are directly related to its environment in those early years.

There are many outward signs that can indicate that a violation within the soul may have occurred. Listed here are some of these indications.

Where a person has been involved in a divorce situation, whether the husband, the wife, or a child in the middle of the separation.
Where a person is unable to relax while in the company of certain people.
Where nightmares on the same subject frequently occur.
Where there is a horror of discussing a certain event of the past (an accident, witnessing a murder or suicide, seeing Mum thrown across the room by Dad, etc).
Where a person has fears or terrors that cannot be controlled (of spiders, mice, of putting head under water, of the dark, of authority figures, of failure, etc).
Where a person repeatedly displays uncontrollable anger.
Where a person feels useless, hates self and puts self down all the time. He/she cannot love self as God desires. Mark 12:28-31[9]
Where a person is unable to give or receive pure and honourable love, perhaps because of never having had such love demonstrated during childhood. (This may be the result of a falsely programmed human spirit due to incest or other molestation.)
Where a person has had a deliberate abortion.
Where a person is born of an illegitimate conception. (This will almost always bring feelings of ostracism or being left out.)
Where a person has been constantly ‘put down’ by unkind, negative words.
Where a person cannot remember anything of their earlier childhood years, there may be memories that have been suppressed because they are too painful to remember.
Where a person has extreme perfectionist tendencies.
Where a person has experienced shock or grief that has not been properly resolved.
Where a person constantly misunderstands or misconstrues words said to them or actions done around them, and interpret them as rejection.
Where a person feels they don’t measure up to the expectations of Mum or Dad, bringing a constant striving for acceptance. Or the girl may strive to be the boy Dad wanted, or other similar feelings.
Where a person lacks willpower to break bad habits, addictions, or compulsions in any area. – (drinking alcohol, smoking, drug taking, watching pornography, overeating, not eating at all [anorexia, bulimia], overspending, gambling, molesting children, etc).
Where a person displays immature behaviour.
Where a person displays emotional rigidity.

Healing the violated soul (using clause 8 above as illustration)

Sexual intimacy is from God. Sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is intended by God to reflect an intimacy of relationship with Jesus at the marriage feast of the Lamb.

When a husband and wife come together for the first time, a covenant of blood is cut when the hymen is broken within the woman. A blood covenant is the strongest covenant that can be made and is for life. The first sexual encounter within marriage should establish this covenant, and every sexual act after that should be an ongoing celebration of this covenant.

When sexual molestation, incest, perversion or premarital sex occurs, the soul is immediately violated because it is outside Gods’ programming for that soul.

There are three main damaging results that occur from wrong sexual activity.

The interference with God’s timetable for sexual understanding.
The scarring and death of emotions.
The crippling of ability to fully enter into a Father/child relationship with God.

So the soul becomes violated.

Our emotions may feel fear, guilt, anger, lust, confusion, dirty, betrayal, dishonour, despising. Demonic beings may ride in on these emotions establishing strongholds. 2 Corinthians 10:4[10]

Decisions are made in the mind such as: sex is dirty, he is only using me, you can’t trust men/women, women are there to be used, I am bad, I am dirty, sex means love and love means sex.

The spirit becomes defiled and falsely programmed. It may even act on information that the mind is unable to, either because the mind is too young or the mind begins to self-protect by the suppression of memories.

The will then kicks into gear. Self-protection is now necessary, and with the emotions and mind and spirit giving all this negative information, the will shuts down a number of areas in the soul. Conscience may be seared, to cover guilt. Pretence may be entered into to cover the feeling of being bad. A hardening may occur in the heart to prevent further pain from happening. Judgements such as “I will never…” may be established.

Whenever there is a violation within the soul, ungodly soul ties are entered into. These are ties that can occur between people and people, and people and objects, because of needs arising from wounding that have occurred. These are ungodly because they arise from wounding not from healthy relationships. We still need love because God programmed that need into us, but now we seek love from a basis of violation and misunderstanding.

At a later stage when right relationships need to be entered into, the spirit and the mind release this false programming which causes the emotions to react. This is what we act on. Although our emotions cannot be relied on as indicators of truth because they are only response/reaction mechanisms, they generally have more influence over us than what our minds tell us. “I know that God loves me, because the Bible tells me so, I just don’t trust him.” or “I know sex in marriage is honourable but it feels so dirty.” Hebrews 13:4[11]

How do you heal the violated soul?

Recognise the emotional response mechanism as a REFLECTION of what is happening inside, not the reality itself.
Ask and seek God for the truth. It is the truth that will set you free. Give him time to give you the pieces of the puzzle. Matthew 7:7[12], John 8:32[13]
If you have sinned in a revealed situation or because of a revealed situation, repent.
If others have sinned against you in the revealed situation or because of the revealed situation, forgive.
Break ungodly soul ties and evict demonic squatters.
Invite Jesus to go back to the place of violation. Ask him to put to death on the cross the wrong attitudes, beliefs, judgements and habit patterns. Ask him to heal and to re establish his identity and truth. Romans 9:25[14]
Take up or give someone else who is trustworthy authority to speak love and truth to the violated soul, or as David describes it, the child within, to bring peace and righteousness. Psalm 131:2[15]
Pray cleansing and new programming of the spiritual senses.
Ensure that your mind is up to date and accurate with the knowledge it contains. The Bible teaches that we are to work hard at transforming our minds. Romans 12:1-2[16]. This means that we should actively seek to place God’s wisdom in there, so that when called upon, our minds will produce reliable information (called truth) upon which to make wise decisions. Once the will has made its decision, it feeds instructions back to the mind, and the emotions, in their turn, respond in the appropriate ways.
Ensure that our souls are operating according to the correct governmental order. – the will in authority, with the mind and emotions submitted to the will.

Unless the will is in charge, information given, though accurate, can be extremely wounding. Unless the will is in charge, emotions displayed can be downright dangerous! The Scriptures teach the dangers of double-mindedness. James 1:8[17], James 4:8[18]. Undisciplined minds or emotions will never make us better. Without exception, weak willed people are trouble to themselves and everyone around. Emotions are without logic; the mind has no feelings. There is need for a strong will to govern the soul.

One more thing.

There is one more aspect from the earlier computer illustration that hasn’t as yet been considered.

While it is true that a computer can operate by itself for a while, sooner or later there has to be an external operator to activate it and give it direction. Computers, even when seemingly left to run by themselves, are in actual fact ultimately responding to the input from an operator, and will eventually cease to function without outside intervention.

So it is with the soul. It has capacity to run independent of outside direction – for a while. When left to do so for very long, it generally deteriorates into a meaning-less, going nowhere type of activity.

The Bible teaches that there are only two operators outside of ourselves – God and Satan. Joshua 24:14-15[19]. We always have and always will function according to the direction and desires of one or the other. Needless to say, though, if we are to be successfully Christian, we are obliged firstly to seek the renewing of our minds through the Scriptures (it is hard work isn’t it!), and secondly we are obliged to have the three parts of our soul in correct governmental order: Will → Mind → Emotions.

Breaking of Ungodly Ties

Suggested Prayer for the person/s coming for help:

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the authority released to me through the shedding of his blood at Calvary and which I possess in him as a believer, I hereby cut all ungodly spirit, soul and body ties between me and any other created being or thing, living or dead.

Heavenly Father, I ask that you please make sure that all ungodly ties are broken, and I invite you, Holy Spirit, to establish godly relationships where ungodly ones have existed. Heavenly Father, please cleanse all relationships I have by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ and completely remove and close all demonic doorways into my life.

I declare to every demonic spirit that you no longer will have any access to me through ungodly ties, because every entrance is closed and sealed with the blood of my Lord Jesus. I use my authority in the name of Jesus Christ to declare to you Satan that your power over every spiritual, physical or legal descendant of mine through the ungodly ties I have just renounced is hereby cancelled.

I declare that all access is now totally eliminated by the power of God, and I bring the full power of the cross, the blood, the resurrection and the ascension of Jesus Christ in victory over your plans, purposes and evil strategies against me and my descendants. Amen.

This paper seeks to accurately represent the teachings of Holy Scriptures. You are free to copy or alter all or any part of this paper PROVIDED that the Holy Scriptures are not misrepresented as a result.